I feel like i’m slowly putting boundaries on my relationship with my parents. The situation wasn’t this bad before but now, it’s just worst than ever. I have nothing against my mom, it’s just that she’s also forced to succumb to my dad’s power tripping. Hell, my dad didnt even greet me on my birthday. I can’t wait to get out of this house. I have to suppress every urge that i have for adventure knowing that it will just be trumped by some unreasonable dictator. I’m not even happy anymore. There’s so much out there waiting for me and sadly, i have to forcefully sleep on them. I get so jealous when i see young achievers going at it on their particular discipline. No one holds them back from their goal and they always had their eyes on the prize, never taking them off. Fuck this shit. I still have the chance to leave but i have to make my decision soon. School in the philippines will start soon and once i enroll, my plans would have to wait another year.
I don’t know if should go back or not. I was able to fix stuff back there and settled in pretty well. Going back and forth would occur very often in my current state but i don’t know if i should really move and settle in there, permanently. I’ll just have to weigh my options pretty soon and hope for the best. What holds me back is the idea of leaving a whole entire life behind me. Losing touch with friends and family who have always been there for me… I don’t know either if i should date again. I might just feel guilty… WELL that sucks
